I have been watching a lot of older media lately, not for any reason in particular, but there are a lot of benefits to doing so. Everything is long gone so I don’t ever have to worry about a cliffhanger ending that will never be resolved due to a surprise cancellation. Fixing things in post wasn’t so easy and effects budgets were limited so there’s this intentional look to everything and the lighting is usually really great. Just in general, the feel is so much more real. It also tends to feel maybe cornier, but in a genuine way that modern writing seems to ignore in favor of quips to let you know that they know that this is so silly haha can you believe it?
How could they, though, really?
This isn’t to say everything is better, there are definite issues. Stories can drag, sometimes they feel weirdly unfocused. In the case of Don Bluth films, my goodness, was anyone writing these? That’s not a shot at Don Bluth, I like those old movies, but good lord sometimes things are just happening with no reason. So I don’t feel like I am being nostalgic, more that I am appreciating some artistic choices that have fallen out of fashion (as well as completed works and not “NETFLIX ANNOUNCES YOUR FAVORITE SHOW IS CANCELED AGAIN,” not naming names). Besides, the modern era is making a massive killing on nostalgia, so if I wanted that, I could look anywhere.
I want to look in the 3D Jungle Room.
I am from an era long gone, maybe, but I grew up in a sad, sad time when toys were for kids and kids alone. Adults could, of course, buy and enjoy toys, plus there were entertaining doodads for all ages like Puzz3D or…………. other things, probably. There were cheap garbage toys and excessively expensive toys for the kids of the richest parents, but the important thing about all of these is that they were for children first. As much as I approve of never growing up (certified Toys R Us kid here), I find it strange and off-putting that so many playthings are being marketed at the same people that wanted them from 30 years prior.
Kids love spending $300!
Take, for example, the $300 Ocarina of Time display Lego set. You might say “well it also has a Breath of the Wild mode” or something ridiculous like that, but do you honestly think that it’s aimed at kids who played Breath of the Wild and not Millennials? Not to shake a stick at the old tree, but its role in BoTW is not even very notable, at least not comparably with its OoT incarnation. We can rationalize it all we want, the truth is, though, that toy companies are more and more inching towards adults with disposable income and disposed dreams.
They didn't take it out of their search results, oops...
Or, maybe we can look to the “PokemonTM Adults Product Announcement” from early 2026. That’s right, for just $60 to $650, you could own shards of plastic that you can form into characters from your childhood-specific market segment this is geared at. We spent so much time catching them all we never stopped to catch a real job or a house aghhhh grrrr. And for sure some blame lies in the hands of corporations eager to sell to anyone they can, but we also have to acknowledge that if people were growing up more embarrassed about being perpetual children then maybe these companies would not be selling this junk. Like it or not, this is a two-way street, but I really do not want to rant on and on about the intricate dance of consumer and.. consum..ee? That can’t be right… Anyway.
Oh, to be the sad Millennial capitalism wants me to be.
I bring all this up because of one thing in particular and it has to do with old media and nostalgia and Pokemon (and not Lego, sorry Denmark… or not, I don’t know your official national stance on me, maybe we're enemies maybe I'm never sorry who knows maybe we love each other oh gosh when will the violence end ahhh). Everyone who grew up with Pokemon knows that they have changed some things over time. For example, tubby Pikachu and also the weird leaks that outed Game Freak as more Freak than Game used to be nothing but secret internal documents they saved for decades for some reason. But there is a lesser known change that was made purely for nostalgia that I feel like no one talks about ever. Maybe they do not know about it, or perhaps they do not care, but that one change is the master of transformation itself, Ditto!
That's right!
Aside from single-handedly removing a common word from the modern lexicon, Ditto is also one of the most well-known Pokemon that has been subtly shifted over the years and you may not know what I am slowly revealing, but that will all be in the past soon because I am referring to its face. Surprise! And I KNOW you know what I mean if you know about Pokemon because how could you not know? Every time there is a Pokemon media with a Ditto, it does THE FACE. You know the one. :)
Pikaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh what's wrong with you!
That face has become synonymous with the creature and in some ways, it makes sense. If Ditto is a perfect mimic, how can you sell Ditto merchandise or quickly telegraph to audiences that “THIS IS DITTO!”? Would the reveal in Detective Pikachu have hit as hard if Ditto looked like a person? They would have had to have it transform! Which… Oh they do? Oh hm. Okay, but it NEEDS to be like that in Pokopia, right? Right?? Or you’d… forget… you’re the.. hm..
AH! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!
AHHhhhhhhwell okay this one's not so bad, carry on.
Would you forget, though? Maybe. Maybe you’re a stupid baby with a goldfish brain. I am not going to apologize for calling you that because I didn’t, actually, and if it is indeed true you already forgot. What you probably also forgot, though, is that Ditto was not always just that face. In fact, I challenge that its face has been changed to that for no other reason than nostalgia. October, 1998 (or December 1997 if you were in Japan then, I don’t know your life story). It’s a [weather] day and children rush home from school, listening to Monica’s The First Night (maybe, idk it’s a little steamy for kids then) on their Walkmans and enjoying the breeze in their JNCO jeans as they mentally prepare themselves for the 37th episode of the show that has swept the playground and nation. Pokemon: Ditto’s Mystery Mansion is gracing their television sets and they can’t look away.
How could they, though, really?
The full episode is actually officially available on Youtube in atrocious quality so you can watch it right now and then understand what I am about to say without needing to read any of this. In the episode, the gang (Ash, Misty, Brock, yellow rat) come across an abandoned looking building in the rain. Being the heroes, they break the door in and take over the place as their own, not caring about anyone or anything. Another Pikachu with a weird face shows up and Ash says “dibs” and tries to enslave it but to no avail because it belongs to someone else so they just talk about Ditto for a while.
I'm seein' double! FOUR Ashes?!
Ash insults Duplica and Ditto, calling Ditto a BORING snoozefest for its moveset. Duplica responds by having Ditto abuse Ash’s Bulbasaur until it is raw and bloodied. Ash takes it back and they are all friends now. Maybe there’s a lesson here, I don’t know.
All I know is I want to spend $300 on a Pikachu sculpture.
Turns out that the gang broke into the House Imite (everything is a pun in this show, btw) and that it is out of business because no one wants to come in and see a child do cosplay with a Ditto that can’t even do faces right. There’s even a flashback where the crowd becomes unruly and aggressive because of Ditto’s face. THAT specific Ditto. It is mentioned several times. It’s ONLY that Ditto that “hasn’t grown out of” not being able to change its face.
Always boo children performing!
Anyway, Team Rocket comes and kidnaps it to do scams, they get mad about the face thing, they have Meowth abuse the Ditto until it does faces right, something something blast off again, House Imite is saved and the lesson is animal abuse is an effective tool for correcting anyone. Isn’t Pokemon fun, kids? But whatever because the important part is that I am right about Ditto's face.
Hey, it's the before shot of that earlier picture!
Ditto was never supposed to be restricted to that face. It was always meant to be a perfect imitator. Somewhere along the way, Game Freak or Nintendo or someone just totally spaced or maybe maliciously chose to make that the default, but thanks to historical records we can all know the secret truth.
Even Duplica loves animal abuse! Maybe PETA was on to something...
So obviously this is just another overgrown nostalgia tumor on an ever expanding mass choking our culture to death. But whatever, who cares, why even bring it up and ramble about it? Because it is annoying to me, personally! And now it is mentioned at least somewhere. Are there other people talking about it? Maybe. Send em my way, we can be insane friends!
Unless you look like this.
PS: Watch Fern Gully, just do it, just trust me.
RIP Robin, you'll always be missed.